Beaten and Broken
by myRyRy
Summary: The Coopers are trying to get a fresh start in Chino, but all of their problems are still there. Marissa feels stuck in the endless cycle of drinking and abuse that has always surounded her life. Maybe meeting Ryan will help?
1. The Move In

**Title:** Beaten and Broken  
**Fandom:** The O.C  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** The Cooper family is trying to get a fresh start in Chino, but all of their old problems are still there.Her family is horrible-Jimmy is abusive and has a drinking problem while Julie is too weak to stand up to him and leave. The Atwood's aren't much better, but Ryan and Trey are still living in Chino with their mother and her endless cycle of boyfriends.

&

1

Marissa picked up the last of the cardboard boxes that contained her things out of the back of her parents station wagon before slamming the trunk shut. She turned to her side and shook her head absently as she made her way up to her new house. The yard was a mess- a beat up old car still up on blocks from the last family- and it was contained by a beaten up old chain link fence. It wasnt that different from her last house. This one was blue and her old one had been red. But they both had broken windows and chipped paint. Neither one would ever be what she called a home. Nope, nowhere that her parents lived would ever become considered her home. Just a house where she'd be held captive.

Her family had moved from Fresno to Chino. She wasnt quite sure if that was a step up or down from where they were, but it was definitely a change. The idea of them moving first came up when her dad got arrested. Her mom thought that they needed a new start; that they could use this opportunity to finally get away from him. But he had paroled just a couple weeks ago and showed up at their doorstep once again. She thought that would be the end of them moving, but it wasnt. They still left. Apparently Dad owed some money to show shadey guys and needed a fresh start as well.

God she hated her parents. She hated her dad alot more than her mom though. He had a horrible temper and lost it on her and her mom all the time. He didnt look like that strong of a man, but when he got in that mood, he could over power anyone. As far back as she could remember, her dad had been hitting her, and her mom would just avert her eyes. Thats why she hated her mom. She never did anything to stop it. Whenever her father would go after her mom though, she'd try and do something, and always end up getting beat herself. But at least she tried. Her mom didnt even do that.

"Marissa, honey, come on, we're in the living room!" her mom called out when she heard the screen door snap shut behind Marissa. She sighed heavily and made her way towards her mother's voice. She set down her box with a thump near the door and stood up only to be greeted with the sight of huge smiles spread across both of her parents face. That was normal though. They always pretended everything was okay, even when it was everything but. Especially with the way that her dad was already nursing what she guessed was his third or fourth beer. Man, they were definitely going to be breaking this place in the Cooper way in a few hours.

"Sweetie, we figured we'd order some pizza and watch a movie together. You know, celebrate moving in," Julie offered up grinning ear to ear as she looked at her daughter. Marissa just shrugged her shoulders and gave a soft nod before turning to her dad.

"If its okay, I'm just going to set up some stuff in my room quick," she said shortly, not meeting her father's eyes. It became kind of a rule- she asked for permission for everything when he was drinking. When he was verging on drunk was when the 'yes sir' and 'no sir's were necissary as well. He nodded absently as he took a swig of his beer before getting up off of the chair he was sitting in to set up the tv. Grabbing up the box of her stuff, she was out of the living room and headed down the hall before they knew it.

Queitly closing the door behind her, she inched into what was going to be her room for the next few years. It was small, but not too small. Just enough room for her bed and a dresser, which was really all she had or needed. She set down the box on the uncovered twin matress in the corner and made her way to the window. Pulling up the blinds, she realized she didnt have much of a view. Her window peaked straight into her neighbors house. Great. She pulled on the cord and let the blinds fall back closed. Turning on her heal she headed towards the few boxes that sat around her room at odd places. One stood out impraticular, with a photo frame sticking out the top.

She smiled to herself as she took out the picture of her with her two best friends; Seth and Summer. Marissa had always been what everyone considered to be a 'troubled girl', but she had tried to clean up her act. Leaving behind her rough crowd of drug dealers and drunks, Marissa started to hang out with Seth and Summer all the time. Sure they weren't perfect. They both smoked like chimneys and got drunk every weekend, but they didnt take it over board. They didnt have to be left on her doorstep because they had passed out and no one wanted to deal with their dad. No, that was just her. But with them, she'd calmed down. She didnt think that would last here. Before they left Riverside she'd gone to her usual source of alcohol and stocked up, not knowing how long itd be until she had a connection here. She looked down at one of the long clear bottles and was about to pull it out when she heard a loud banging on the front door. Pizza must be here. Time to go pretend they were a family.

&

Marissa's eyes slowly fluttered open, completely confused by her surroundings at first. She wasnt used this place yet at all. It was dark and the only thing that was lighting the room was the blue from the TV screen. She must have fallen asleep during the movie. Slowly, she pulled herself up into a sitting position on the couch and rubbed at her eyes before looking over to the clock over the oven. 12:09. Where were her parents at though?

Her question was answered before she even got through thinking it. She heard a muffled scream from near the back of the house and quietly but quickly made her way to see where it was coming from. She stopped abruptly in the darkness of the hallway as she caught sight of her parents. There, illuminated in the doorway was her mother, whimpering as Jimmy tightened his grip around her forearm.

"Jimmy..." she protested weakly. Her mother had always been a coward and Marissa hoped she would never end up like her. She had every opportunity to leave her father behind, but she'd never do it. She was too scared.

Jimmy pulled harder on her arm and Julie cried out in pain but gave in, allowing herself to be pulled into the bedroom. The door slammed shut and Marissa heard her mother continue to whimper. This wasnt the first time something like this had happened, but there was nothing she could do. She had to get out of there. She pushed into her bedroom, grabbing a hoodie and pulling it over her head before heading back out the hall and out the front door.

The night air was cool and ran goose bumps across her long bare legs as she quickly headed off down the sidewalk. Maybe she should have changed out of her skirt into pants before she left too. She looked back at her house just in time to see the light in her parents bedroom go out and just kept walking faster into the opposite direction. It was extremely dark out and she really had no idea where she was going. It was kind of a shady neighborhood, but she didnt seem to pay any attention to that. Riverside hadnt been that much better. There's alot of people still out since its Friday night, and she's getting whistled at constantly. She runs her hand nervously through her hair. She cant go home yet, not to that. So she just keeps on going.


	2. The Chance Meeting

2

Ryan pulled tighter on his worn leather jacket as a gust of crisp night air blew straight at him. Sure, the days were always hot in the summer in Southern California, and to anyone who wasnt from here, the nights were just as nice- but to him it was cold. He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the side of Aueturo's beaten down old car, trying to feign interest in the conversation around him.

They had set up a big metal trash can in the middle of the driveway and had started their own makeshift version of a bon fire inside. It wasnt that great, but hell, it was something to do. It was late, and most parents would probably be dragging their teenagers home right about now, but not theirs. Especially not Ryan and Trey's. His mom was probably passed out on the couch and AJ hadnt been there in a few days. Hopefully that meant his mom and him had broken up.

"Ry, you member those fuckers we jumped down at the park?" Trey asked with a proud grin on his face, snapping Ryan out of his thoughts. Ryan just nodded at his brother, not having much to say on the topic. The truth was they didnt jump the guys- the guys had jumped him and Trey had come to his rescue. He'd just helped hold one of the guys down while Trey bashed his face in. Off Ryan's nod, Trey went into the whole story for Auetoro and Eddie, making himself off as the hero of the day, but embarrassing Ryan as he did. Well not on purpose. He sighed heavily as he dug his hand into his pocket, grabbing a smashed pack of Marlboro's and a lighter. He tilted his head down, trying to shield the tip from the wind until it was lit. He took a long, deep drag before stashing his stuff back in his pocket and bringing his head back up, catching Theresa's eye from across their group as he did.

She gave him a sly smile and bit her lip teasingly, causing him to smile back the same way. Ryan and Theresa had been messing around for awhile now, but it was nothing serious. It couldnt be. Ryan's eyes shifted from Theresa to the man behind her- Eddie. He had the side of his face nestled into her long black hair and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Ryan rolled his eyes away from the couple and back to Trey. Why was he still messing around with this chick when she'd been dating one of his best friends for over two years?

"That deal still going tomorrow?" Aueturo suddenly asked Trey, catching Ryan's attention. He didn't know of any deal that was set up, probably because the last time he had almost gotten them caught.

"Yeah, Carter's got a quarter kilo coming around noon," Trey responded, trying to keep his voice low as he squinted and took a hard drag of smoke. Ryan heard him though, and he tried his best not to keep his eyes from popping out of his head. A quarter of a kilo? 250 grams? That was ten times bigger than anything he'd ever known to go down around here. But he remembered his brother wanting to finally get enough money to get out of here, and this would definitely do it. He could live off of the profits of this deal for awhile, even if he had to split it with Eddie and Aueturo. Ryan just hoped he knew what he was doing.

"Theresa! Aueturo! Vengamos!"

They all turned towards the house just in time to see Mrs. Diaz turn back inside and let the screen door slap shut behind her, leaving the porch light on for them. Aueturo turned and waved, heading his mother's words and heading back towards the house as he did. Theresa let Eddie pull her into a kiss, not even acknowledging the Atwood boys before she followed her brother into the house, turning off the light behind her.

"So there's a party down on 7th street now," Eddie offered up as he, Trey, and Ryan slowly made their way down the street away from the Diaz residence, "its only one, so its prolly still goin on if you guys wanna hit it up."

"I'm in," Trey said quickly, before both he and Eddie turned to Ryan. He averted his eyes to look ahead before speaking up.

"Ya know, I think I'm gonna head home," he said quietly, taking a huge drag off his cigarette afterwards. His brother and Eddie were his two best friends in the world, but alotta the time they hung out and did stuff that Ryan just wasnt in to. He certainly didnt want to spend the night watching them get drunk and then show up at home around dawn and possibly incite some rage from AJ.

"Whatever man, have fun with that," Trey said, shaking his head as they reached a corner. He and Eddie turned while Ryan continued straight on his pathway home. "Cover for me with mom!" he called out over his shoulder before starting to fade away into the darkness of the night.

Ryan took the last puff of his smoke, the tip flashing bright red as he breathed it in, before he flicked the butt onto the concrete underneath his feet. By now, the streets were basically deserted with nothing but the occasional glow of a lamp post lighting the way home. He didnt need the light though, he'd long ago memorized his way home, and he was convinced he could easily make it there with his eyes closed. Almost every night he was out here, just wandering, lost in his thoughts about bigger and better things. About getting the hell outta here. Trey and him had been talking about escaping for years now, and now that his brother was almost 18- Trey was going to get the chance. Ryan figured he could probably go with if he wanted to, but where the hell would they go? There was nothing for him outside of what he already knew, he convinced himself of that long ago. He'd always be stuck here- working construction and living the same broken life cycle his mother had gone through. There was no point to dream of anything better when he knew it would never come.

Turning the corner onto another street, Ryan found himself about ten feet away from another lone figure standing awkwardly under a lamp post. It was a girl, about his height, with long flowing hair that shone brightly as the light reflected off of it. He was about to continue on and brush past her, when her confused face turned towards him, her eyes catching his and stopping him in his tracks.

"Hey," he blurted out quickly as he stared into her big eyes. She was beautiful, absolutely breath taking as she chewed on her bottom lip with her hands buried into the large front pocket of her sweat shirt.

"Hi," she responded quickly, looking him up and down cautiously before her brow furrowed and she turned back towards the street as if she was looking for something. He stood there watching her, taking in her movements. She was definitely not from here. There is no way he would have forgotten a girl like that. Suddenly her searching and confusion made sense as he took a step closer to her.

"You lost?" he asked softly, making her head whip back around to look at him. She stared at him for a long moment without any response. It was like she was studying him- trying to decide if she was going to trust him or not. She must have seen something she liked because after a long pause, she nodded slightly and turned her whole body to face him

"Yeah.. I just moved here, and I cant really find my way back home.." she explained guardedly, a slight smile on her face as she took a couple steps towards him.

"Ahh.. a new Chino resident.. Well your in luck, I know this place like the back of my hand," he told her with a sly, flirty smile as he dug into his pocket and pulled out his pack of Marlboro's. He took one out for himself and held out the box to offer her one. She looked up and met his eyes for a split second, raising her eyebrow at him as she half smiled. She crossed the last few steps to him, pushing her thin fingers into the flimsy box and pulling out a cigarette for herself. She put it into her mouth just as he finished lighting his own and leaned in as he held his lighter up to the end of hers.

As they stood so close, they held a prolonged moment of eye contact. He could finally see her eye color. They were big, deep blue, and held a quality of sadness that he knew his own carried as well. But hers were different than he'd ever seen before. She took a step back as she breathed in the warm smoke and nicotine and he stashed his lighter back in his pocket.

"So where do you live?" he asked looking her up and down, pausing momentarily at her long legs.

"East 1st street."

"What a coincidence," he answered back as he snapped his eyes back up to meet hers. He flashed her a half smile before he started in the direction of his, and apparently her home. At first thier walk was silent, both of them concentrating on taking in a nicotine fix, but soon Ryan decided it was time to speak up. "So why move here?" She looked sideways at him and shrugged.

"My parents explained it as a 'fresh start'."

"Yeah, thats why we moved here too," he said with a knowing nod. "Get a chance to start back over from the beginning." She slowly nodded before she began chewing on her bottom lip. She absently tapped some ash off the tip of her cigarette as she stared straight ahead, like she was contemplating something. Suddenly she tipped her head sideways too look at him.

"Did it work?" she asked softly. He could almost hear the hope in her voice, and when he looked over and met her eyes, it was even more present. Her big eyes were almost childlike as she stared up at him, looking for him to give her some kind of assurance. Obviously, there was something that was hurting her- he could see it in her broken appearance- but it was beautiful. She was beautifully broken. He knew the answer to her question was no- it didnt work at all- but he didnt want to kill that hope she still had left. His was already dead, why take hers as well?

"Some.." he lied with an even tone. She must have believed him because she nodded gently and turned back to face forward. She took a quick drag of her cigarette as she looked over at the row of houses they were now next to.

"Thats me," she said pointing the small stub that was left of her cig towards the blue, broken down house they were fast approaching. He softly shook his head as he turned to her.

"Well thats me," he responded pointing to green house just past hers. She let out a soft giggle, shaking her head in disbelief as she stopped in front of her house. He stopped next to her and watched as she stomped out her butt into the sidewalk. "So- do you have a name or-"

"Marissa," she interrupted with a soft smile as she stared straight into his dark blue-grey eyes.

"Ryan," he offered up, nodding his head once as he smiled back at her.

"Well Ryan, thanks for being my guide," she said as with a flirty grin before turning on her heal and heading up the path towards her door. "Hopefully I'll see you soon," she called back over her shoulder before disappearing inside her dark, dank house. He smiled to himself, and realized he hadnt smiled as much in the past few weeks as he had in the past 15 minutes. He shook his head back and forth, shaking off his smiles as he headed up towards his own house. He whipped the door open fast, knowing by now that the creak in it was less likely to wake someone up if it was quick and loud rather than prolonged and low.

As he let the door shut behind him, he heard the soft murmur of the TV going, and immediately headed back into the living room. The dull glow of an infomercial filled the dark room and illuminated the silhouette of his mother as she lay across the couch. Ryan shook his head at the sight in front of him. Empty beer bottles littered across the coffee table in front of her and one tall clear vodka bottle sat half drunken on the floor next to her, her hand grasping limply around the neck. She was out cold, her face pale with only a shallow rise and fall of her chest apparent, scaring Ryan just as much now as it did every other time her found her like this. He reached over and grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch behind her and gently lay it across her stagnant body. He leaned in and brushed a kiss across her temple before heading back to his room and locking himself alone.


	3. The Helping Hand

3

"Morning honey," Julie cooed as she stood awkwardly in the kitchen holding a spathula covered in pancake batter, avoiding eye contact with her 16 year old daughter as she sauntered in. "I, uh, I like your outfit."

Marissa looked at her mother confused before her eyes went down to her attire and she subconsciously ran a hand over her shirt, smoothing it out. There wasn't anything special about her outfit, it was just a white tank top with little red and pink hearts across it and a plain denim skirt. "Um, thanks Mom," she muttered back, flashing her a weak smile as she flopped into a chair at the small dining table. As her mother turned back to flip the pancakes on the stove, Marissa could see the aftermath of her father's drunkenness from the night before written all over the backs of her arms in the form of dark bruises. Sighing, she bit her lip and looked down to her fingers in her lap before speaking again, "So where's Dad at?"

"He had an interview at the construction company early this morning," Julie explained as she reached into one of the cardboard boxes on the floor and took out a couple plates for breakfast. "He should be home any minute so I figured we'd surprise him with breakfast."

As if on cue, the front door flew open only to be followed by an immediate slam that sent booth females jumping out of their skin from the sudden noise. They're eyes whipped around just in time to see Jimmy fly past the kitchen and down the hallway, followed by an even louder slam of their bedroom door.

"This should be great.." Marissa muttered to herself as her mother handed her the spathula before running out of the kitchen to comfort her husband. Marissa sighed to herself as she lazily pulled herself out of her chair and shuffled over to the stove. Removing the two finished pancakes and scooting them off onto a plate, she couldn't help but over here the angry tone of her father from down the hall.

_"They said I didn't have enough experience. I mean, what the fuck! Its construction- not rocket science!"_

_"Well, sweetie, you haven't exactly worked that before.."_

_"What! You're on their side now?"_

Marissa flinched as she heard a thump come from the bedroom and knew something had happened as she quietly poured in more batter into the pan, trying to distract herself. She poured in three puddles, making a distorted looking mickey mouse that made her smile slightly despite her surroundings. Her mind traveled back to Ryan, the boy she met last night who coincidentally lived next store, but as soon as she started to drift off in thought about the way his blond scruffy hair hung in front of his dark blue eyes, the conversation between her parents drifted in again. Marissa bit her lip nervously as she heard the pleading tone in her mother's voice, and knew he must have laid his hands on her.

_"No, not at all sweetie... its just that-"_

_"Its construction. I don't need experience to do it. Anyone can do it and I should have gotten that damn job..."_

_"I can get something, you know I can waitress or-"_

_"NO! I am the man of this house and I will get a job. Don't belittle me. There's no way I'd let you take care of me.. We'll go back on welfare if we have to.."_

Suddenly footsteps started to approach the kitchen and Marissa forced herself into indifference at the sight of her father. Immediately she picked up the plate of pancakes and held it out, forcing a soft at her father trying to curb his anger. "Hey Dad; Mom and me made you pancakes.."

"Pancakes?" Jimmy muttered with a confused look on his face as he looked at the plate then back at his daughter's face, before turning away. "Not hungry," he shot out, flinging open the refrigorator and pulling out a bottle of budweiser, not giving a care about how early in the day it was, before heading out of the kitchen towards the living room. The two woman stood completely still, afraid to make a wrong move or noise, until they heard the tv flick on, completely killing the silence.

"Well," Julie started, wiping her hands on her thighs as she stepped up to Marissa and took the plate of food from her, trying to blink back the tears she felt welling up in her eyes, "I guess that just means more for us then, huh?"

Marissa watched her Mom, completely dumb founded by her lack of reaction to her father's behavior as she walked over to the stove and picked up the spathula she had set down. Further astounding her, Marissa watched as her mother actually smiled and laughed slightly at the mickey mouse like pancakes in the pan. Shaking her head, she slumped back into her position on at the dining table, contemplating how in the world her mother could just brush all of this off. That's when Marissa realized that this would never end. Her mother would never try and leave her dad again, and Marissa would be stuck with his shit until the day she could finally move away a few years down the line, while her mom would be trapped in this forever.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Ryan stood awkwardly on the cracked and broken sidewalk, shielding his eyes from the bright mid-day sun as he tried to see what Trey and Aueturo were doing. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be a part of Trey's big deal, but he didn't really have a choice after his brother threatened him. So there he stood, on the edge of Chino Community Park, being the lookout while his brother bought the biggest amount of drugs Ryan had ever seen. Ryan knew this was trouble. He could get in more trouble then he could ever even imagine, but Trey was determined to do this and get enough money to leave Chino behind.

Ryan watched as Trey and Aueturo talked to some twenty something shady guy, and shook his head at them, before turning away to watch the streets. Sure Chino was bad, but Ryan wasn't about to sink that low so he could leave. Way before now, he'd conceded to the fact that he was never getting out of here. And after last night, maybe things were actually getting a little bit better.

Ryan smirked to himself as he thought about the tall, lanky beauty he'd met before. Marissa. Her name just seemed to roll off his tongue and linger on his lips a way that made him tingle. She was definitely not like any girl he'd ever met before. Her long legs, pink pouty lips, and big blue eyes had been stuck in his head all night and even made a brief appearance in a random dream. When he'd woken up though this morning, he'd caught a glimpse of her through his window. Apparently their chance meeting wasn't so much a coincidence as it was fate, since her window seemed to line up almost perfectly with his. He watched, mesmerized, as she simply put up her golden locks into a pony tail and exited the room. There was definitely something about this girl. He didn't just want her, he wanted to know her, and that was definitely a rarity in his list of past hookups. He would have been much more content to just sit out on his front stoop and wait for her to come outside, but no, Trey had to drag him along..

The rumblings of the drug dealers behind him caught his attention, causing him to forget his playful day dream and turn back towards them. It looked to him like Trey was picking a fight, and immediately Ryan cursed him quietly for being such a dumb ass. Their argument got louder and louder and soon they were shoving each other. Ryan's senses heightened as he seemed to stand taller, getting ready to defend himself in anyway possible. He watched with beety, scared eyes from his place far away as Trey made a sudden move and before he knew what was happening there was a loud bang.

He stood there paralyzed; waiting for someone to fall, for someone to react. And then they did. Everyone ran. Trey turned on his heal and started bounding towards him, the glint of the sun on his pistol catching Ryan's eye before he pocketed it. Ryan's mouth dropped, dumbfounded.

"Run!" Trey screamed at him at the top of his lungs as Aueturo followed hot on his heals. Ryan obeyed, but as he turned the last thing he caught was the drug dealer falling to his knees, a blank and dead stare in his eyes as a stain of red quickly took over his shirt. After that, Ryan bolted.

He ran so fast he didn't even realize when Trey and Aueturo turned a different way. He really wasn't aware of anything until he came sprinting down his tiny street, his tony beaten down green house never looking so inviting or, dare he say, safe. As he approached, his pace became slower and slower, until he came to a complete stop in right outside of the broken chain link fence that lined his yard. His hands fell to his knees as he buckled over, sweating and panting so hard as he tried to regain his bearings. _That didn't happen. Trey didn't shoot that guy. He couldn't. Trey wouldn't kill..._

"Ryan?"

Immediately his head shot up in the direction of the voice, only to meet the eyes of the beautiful girl from the night before. _Marissa_.

"Are you okay?" she asked shyly, taking a somewhat bold step closer to him. "I mean, I was outside, and I saw you running, and.." he watched her, somewhat amazed by how someone who looked like that could ever be so shy. He went to smile at her, but then he just saw that image in his of the blood, and just closed his eyes instead, trying to calm himself. He felt her take another step closer and couldn't help but feel somewhat comforted just by her presence. He quickly straightened up, planning to make a quick, nice impression on her before heading into his house to hide, not wanting to tell this brand new girl how fucked up his family is that his brother just killed someone and scare her away.

"I'm fi-" he started to lie, but immediately stopped when the sound of sirens filled his ears. Fear filled him. He was a part of this. The lookout was always part of this, they're always a major part. _God, fuck Trey_.

Marissa watched confused as he abruptly stopped talking, not understanding the reason, but she could read the fear screaming out in the look on his face. Suddenly his eyes widened and his whole body seemed to tense as they looked past her down the street past her, and she turned to follow his eyes. There was a cop, lights flashing and sirens blaring heading down the street towards them.

Turning back to Ryan, the terror suddenly made sense. The cops must be after him. Marissa saw him twitch and start to move to go into his house, but she felt herself grabbing his hand before she even thought to stop him. He looked at her like she was crazy, but didnt object as she pulled him with her. Running as fast as she could, she led him into her fenced in yard and around the back of her house. In the back of the yard under neath a tree stood an old, rusty tool shed that she pulled him into and slammed the door shut behind them. Tiny holes in the roof let in bright streams of light that illuminated their sandy hair and bright eyes to one another.

"What was that?" Ryan asked dumbly as he leaned against one of the walls trying to catch his breath, watching her closely, captivated by her mystery.

"Well, I don't think anyone is going to look for you in here," she explained as she tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of her pony tail behind her ear. Ryan suddenly found it in him to smile.

"Thanks."


	4. The Walk in the Moonlight

4

Staring across the dimly lit street Ryan called home, he gently spun his cigarette between his rough fingers and reveled in the calming effects of the bitter smoke that filled his lungs.

No one had seen or heard anything from Trey in a week, and he knew he should probably be more concerned, but reason told him that at some sooner or later his brother was going to fuck up no matter what. Ryan was just glad that he hadn't ended up taking him down too. Sure the cops had questioned him, but they seemed to believe his lie, especially when the sweet, new girl in town completely backed up his story that he'd been with her the whole time.

His feet scrapped loudly against the cement as he shifted his position on the curb and strained his ears to try and overhear the muffled arguments coming from the new neighbors. He couldn't make out a thing, and immediately shook his head at how pathetic he was.

Barely a week since he'd met Marissa and already she seemed to consume about ninety-percent of his thoughts. She was so _hot_; with the limbs and the boobs and the hair and the eyes. But for what seemed to be the first time in his teenage years, Ryan actually wanted to know all about her and had admitted to himself that he definitely wouldn't mind being tied down to her. Marissa intrigued him. She always seemed kind of nervous and really shy but she would always smile this huge grin at him. She was such a mystery.

The loud slap of the Cooper's flimsy screen door suddenly shot him from his thoughts, spinning him around in his spot. There she was, head down, shoulders slumped, walking as fast as her feet could carry her away from her home and down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, not even noticing him. Ryan quickly jumped to his feet, mindlessly dropping his cigarette to the pavement as he followed behind.

"Marissa?"

Her marching feet immediately began to slow until she came to a halt and hesitantly turned around to face him. "H-Hi Ryan."

A huge grin quickly spread across his face as he caught up to her, only to leave just as fast as it came. A small but harsh gash marred her usual perfect plump lips that were puffy and red. His brow furrowed. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she answered quickly but quietly, "I just fell down; my clumsy fault."

"Oh."

They both knew she didn't fall. She didn't really fall and bust her lip, just like Ryan didn't really get that black eye last spring playing basketball. Neither of them said anything.

Marissa reached up and self-consciously touched her lip, forcing herself not to wince at the pain before quickly crossing her arms over her chest. She hugged herself tight and averted her gaze everywhere but at him.

"You wanna go for a walk?" Ryan blurted suddenly, trying to keep their silence from becoming too long and too awkward. He didn't want it to be awkward between them. Her gaze snapped to him and he felt his palms start to sweat.

Her lips helplessly curled into a warm smile and she felt her stomach do a pleasant flip. She eagerly nodded and was rewarded with a goofy half smile from Ryan.

They began walking down the intermittently lit sidewalk side by side and in what seemed like no time Ryan had shown Marissa all around town, from the post office to the strip mall on Main St. to the rundown high school she would soon be attending with him in, surprisingly, the same grade and class. As they walked side by side, Ryan held up most of the conversation, which he was sure he had never done before with anyone, by telling her stupid stories about the most random things ever, and the longer they were together, the more comfortable Marissa came, and soon she had completely loosened up from the tight ball of emotions that had ran from her house just a short time before.

"..and that's the electric company," Ryan explained, pointing ahead of them. "My dad used to work at the electric company in Fresno when I was little."

She watched his face fall and tried to read his look, but she couldn't. "Where does your dad work now? I've never seen him at your house at all," she pointed out curiously.

He scoffed quietly to himself. "That's cuz he's in jail; armed robbery."

"Oh," Marissa muttered, regretting saying anything as his eyes diverted to the ground. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay," Ryan quickly interrupted, shrugging it off.

She bit her sore lip thoughtfully as their conversation hit an awkward beat. Looking sideways at him, she could almost see the thoughts spinning in his head as he kicked a stone on the sidewalk. She took a deep breath and a leap of faith and let her fingers shyly brush against his before loosely grasping onto his pinky. Her blushed pink as he shot his gaze up to meet hers, and let another gradual, goofy grin over take him. He was so cute. She quickly smiled back.

"My dad was in jail, too. He got out just before we moved here," she admitted to him quietly. She shook her head absently, sadly, "I wish he was still in there."

Ryan intertwined his fingers in hers and walked closer to her, so close he was afraid he might step on her toes. She smelled like strawberries and suddenly he could feel his heartbeat in his chest. He watched her as her suddenly sad eyes traced the starry sky and didn't know what to say, so he squeezed her hand tighter and smiled sympathetically at her.

They continued down the streets silently, their arms swinging between them, when Marissa's face suddenly lit up. "Ooh, a park!" she exclaimed excitedly pulling Ryan off the path and into the grass towards the tiny playground.

Ryan laughed. "What? Are you five?" he teased, a huge grin on his face as she turned around and playfully stuck her tongue out at him. He let go of her hand and watched as she flopped onto a swing and started to pump her long, lean legs.

"We had a park like a block away from our house in Riverside," she started to explain as she gained more and more air. "I would always sneak out in the middle of the night and sit on the swings and watch the stars. Well, that is, when I wasn't out partying with Seth and Summer."

"Seth and Summer?"

"They were my best friends there," she explained with a smile as she thought of them. She hadn't talked to them since she moved; she missed them so much. But as she watched Ryan's eyes follow her pendulum movements, she realized she didn't mind being here in Chino. "Why don't you swing too?"

"Umm.. I dunno.." he stumbled, looking around at the dark streets and the few random people out as well.

"Please?"

He sighed, shaking his head and giving in to her little pout. He stepped around her before flopping himself down on the next swing. He shifted his weight; the swing creaked, followed by a quick snapped. "Shit!" Ryan screeched, falling flat on his back onto the hard ground.

"Oh my god," Marissa muttered, trying not to laugh, as she scrapped her feet loudly against the grass and came to a halt. "Oh my god, oh my god.. Are you okay?"

Ryan pulled himself to a sitting position and winced, more from embarrassment than anything. "Yeah, I'm fine.."

Giggling, Marissa kneeled next to him. "I can't believe you broke the swing," she burst out laughing, helping him brush dirt off his back.

He felt himself get drawn in by her infectious laugh and let out a chuckle of his own as he looked up at the dilapidated playground equipment. "Oops," he smirked before turning back to Marissa, suddenly realizing how close they were.

She quickly stopped laughing as she realized it to.

The air around them suddenly seemed thick, and the world around them nonexistent.

All her thoughts suddenly stopped as Ryan leaned in and placed a quick, chaste kiss on her lips, making her heart start to pound.

He slowly pulled back and looked at her big blue eyes, looking for some sign that he should continue. He felt his palms start to sweat as she nodded softly and placed a hesitant hand on his neck, her fingers in the back of his hair. He quickly connected their lips again, deepening the kiss and massaging his tongues against hers, before grazing his teeth against her lip.

Marissa abruptly pulled back and hissed in pain, her hand flying up to her still injured bottom lip.

"Oh, god, I'm so so sorry.. I forgot about.."

"I'm fine," she interrupted, her face flushing bright red as she silently cursed herself for ruining her first kiss with the gorgeously sweet boy in front of her. "It just still kinda hurts a little.. I think its swollen..."

Ryan reached up and gently brushed his thumb across the soft pink flesh, smiling as her eyes started to flutter shut. Leaning in, he brushed a quick kiss on her cheek before standing up and holding his hand out to the beautifully broken girl on the ground. "Come on."

She smiled up at him as he helped her up. "Where are we going?"

"To get you some ice for that lip."

Marissa followed a step behind as Ryan led her through backyards and across darkened streets until within a few minutes both their houses, side by side, were in sight. She smiled as Ryan led her past the chain link fence and up the path to his house. He was more than a little relieved to find the house dark and completely empty when he opened the front door. Looking back at Marissa, he flashed her his classic half smile and squeezed her hand, before leading her into the kitchen and quickly filling a ziplock bag with ice.

She winced as she pressed the cold pack to her lip. "Thanks."

He dug his hands in his pockets for and watched her giggle to herself as she noticed the pictures of him on the fridge. She had the cutest laugh he'd ever had, and he loved the way her nose would wriggle up. He didn't want this night with her to end. "So do you have to go home soon? Cuz if you don't, maybe you could hang out here for awhile? We could watch TV or something.."

Marissa eagerly nodded. "I can hang out."

A huge smile spread across Ryan's face. "Great."


	5. The Late Night

5

Ryan's sleepy eyes fluttered open as a tapping suddenly filled his room. He quickly rubbed his eyes before squinting to look at the glowing numbers on his alarm clock.

3:21 AM.

He groaned, not wanting at all to leave the confines of his warm bed, when he heard the soft knocking again. Scrunching his face in confusion, he pushed himself up on his elbows and stared as he realized it was coming from his window.

"Rrryyyan.."

A smile curled his lips at the soft, feminine voice and he quickly threw the covers off his body and climbed out of bed. He made his way across the room, his legs heavy with sleep, in only his boxers and a wife beater, before pulling up the blinds to reveal a swaying and smiling Marissa.

He quickly opened the widow and leaned against the sill. "Hey."

Marissa smiled broadly up at him (with his hair all messed up and his sleepy eyes he looked downright adorable) and swayed towards the house. "Hey!" she greeted excitedly before suddenly reaching up and grabbing his forearm, trying to pull him through the window outside.

"Woah," Ryan laughed out, sliding his arm from her grip until their fingers met and naturally intertwined. He watched her beautiful blue eyes and immediately saw how unfocused and glassy they were as he held her hand tighter to stabilize her. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you," she explained simply before pulling on his hand again, "Come outside... Come out here with me."

"Marissa, its the middle of the night..."

"So?" she blurted, tugging his hand hard and swaying as her eyes glazed over. "Come on. Please?" she quietly begged and whined, "Come be with me. Come. Please come.."

He shook his head, suddenly frowning with concern. "Are you drunk?"

Looking up at him, she suddenly felt embarrassed. All she could do was shrug in response as his gaze burned into her, even in her hazy state.

Ryan sighed. He didn't know what to think, but he knew there was no way he was going to turn her away. It actually made him feel good to know that she'd wanted to be with him while she was so vulnerable. On impulse, he gently pulled on her hand and reached out for her other. "Come on," he gently commanded.

"What?" she dumbly mumbled, but took his hand anyways.

"Now step on that rock.." He gently pulled her and steadied her as she struggled, trying not to chuckle as she slipped. "I got you," he assured her gently, and as soon as she steadied herself he quickly pulled her up and through his small bedroom window.

Marissa bust out laughing as they landed in a pile on the floor.

Ryan couldn't help but laugh too.

"Hey!" A harsh voice suddenly cut through the air, followed by an angry slam on the wall from the next room. "Some people are trying to fucking sleep, kid!"

Both of the teens faces quickly went straight, before they burst into quiet giggles again.

Marissa sighed, smiling, as she laid back on the carpet. "Who was that?"

"No one," Ryan muttered, not wanting at all to get into the drama of his mom and her revolving door of boyfriends. Shaking his head absently, he felt a sly smirk form on his lips as he realized how entangled they were, and how short Marissa's short were under her large t-shirt. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she whispered as she met his intense gaze. "So..."

"So..." he repeated, reaching out and brushing her bangs out of her glassy eyes. "I'd ask you what was going on, but I don't know you well enough to know if you usually do this or not.."

She laughed wryly as she rolled onto her stomach. "Well I don't really know that much about you either.." she pointed out as she leaned up on her elbows and looked down at him as she bit her lip thoughtfully. "What's your favorite color?"

He furrowed his brow at her curiously.

"What? I'm just trying to get to know you."

Ryan sighed, but couldn't help but smirk at her interest. "Hmm.. I don't know.. Green?"

"Mine's blue," Marissa provided before a huge yawn overtook her. Mindlessly she let her head come to rest on Ryan's chest as the room around her seemed to start to spin. Closing her eyes, she breathed in his scent and smiled tiredly as she hugged his frame. "When's your birthday?" she asked against his wifebeater.

Hesitantly he wrapped an arm around her and felt his heart beat quicken as she snuggled into him. "March 29th. Yours?"

"September 13th.. Favorite food?"

"Pizza."

"Mac and cheese..." she mumbled before yawning again and clutching tighter to him. "Um... What's.. um.."

"Tired?" Off Marissa's nod, Ryan carefully untangled their bodies and helped her to sit up with him and then stand. She held him tight as he shuffled them over to his bed, twin sized and covered in a mess of blankets, and let her lay down. "I can sleep on the floor if you want?"

Marissa vehemently shook her head as she pulled on his hand until he climbed into bed with her. Instantly she curled into him. "Ryan?"

"Yeah?" he whispered as he pulled the blankets over them.

On impulse, Marissa leaned up and pressed her warm lips against his. Slowly, she opened and closed her mouth against his, before gently biting and tugging on his bottom lip as she pulled back and stared into his deep blue eyes. "Thank you."

Ryan stared at her shocked, his mouth hanging open as he met her powerful stare. "Um.. You're welcome?" His mouth curled into a goofy grin as she giggled at him and thoughtlessly snuggled into his chest and hugged him tight. He felt his palms start to sweat as he sweetly kissed her forehead before lying down next to her and wrapping an arm around her small shoulders.

A warm, fuzzy feeling he'd never experienced suddenly filled him up as he watched her drift off to sleep.

He was falling for this beautifully broken girl very fast and very, _very_ hard.


	6. The Party

6

Thoughtfully biting her lip, Marissa concentrated hard as she made her way up and down the hot sidewalk that stretched in front of hers and Ryan's houses. The sun beat down on her as she landed each step precisely, letting her bare toes land directly on each and every crack in cement and innocently hoping all the rhymes she used to say as a child were correct and stepping on the cracks would actually break one of her parent's backs.

Her thin, worn, old sun dress swayed out as she spun on her feet to make her way back down again, when her eyes fell on the brunette making her way through the Atwood's chain link fence and up the path to the house. As Marissa stepped closer and closer to the Atwood's house, she watched as the girl knocked several times on the front door and even attempted to peak through the windows when no on answered. The girl looked about her age, and Marissa quickly assumed she was looking for Ryan.

Stepping off the path, she walked across the brittle grass of the Atwood yard and leaned against the fence. "Um, hi," Marissa muttered loudly and kind of nervously; she hadn't met any of Ryan's friends yet. "Are you looking for Ryan?"

The girl quickly turned and eyed her at first curiously, but then almost predatorily as she abandoned the house and moved closer to her.

"Because if you are," Marissa added, averting her eyes away from the harsh gaze the girl was giving her, "he's not here. He went to some construction site. They needed extra guys for the day and he said they won't give him a regular job since he's only 16, so he basically only works when they need..."

"Who are you?" the girl interrupted, clearly a little annoyed.

"Oh, sorry, Marissa," she introduced herself softly. She debated offering her hand to the girl to shake, but with the way her hands sat on her hips, Marissa didn't think she'd like that. "I just moved next door a few weeks ago." The girl responded with an unimpressed nod of her head and a bounce of her curls, and Marissa was completely intimidated by the looks she was receiving and by the obvious beauty of the girl in front of her.

"I'm Theresa," the girl provided wryly, "a _close _friendof Ryan's."

"Oh," Marissa muttered curiously. Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what exactly she meant.

Theresa smiled deviously as she watched the girl in front of her squirm. "Well I was just coming by because I hadn't seen him in awhile, and I wanted to make sure he made it to this party at my place tonight."

"I can tell him about it, if you want," the shy blonde offered reluctantly.

"That'd be great," Theresa mused with a huge, fake smile. "You should come too."

"Yeah, maybe.."

"Well, if you're up to it," the dark brunette smiled cattily, before spinning around and starting to make her way out of the Atwood yard. "It was nice to meet you!"

Marissa's face fell as she watched Theresa walk away, her full hips sashaying as she went. "Yeah, you too."

Turning on her heel, Marissa went back to walking up and down the sidewalk, but suddenly that wasn't as interesting anymore. Sinking down, she sat cross legged on her hot driveway, letting the cement burn her thighs as she thought about Ryan and the girl she'd just met.

She suddenly found herself completely uneasy, and she wasn't really sure why. Burying her head in her hands, she let out a heavy, long breath.

She'd practically just met Ryan, but she was already falling completely for him. She was more than a little afraid of losing him, and that scared her more than anything.

&&&&&&&

"You know, we don't have to go to this," Ryan pointed out as they walked down Theresa's street, the playful screeches and rap music getting louder the closer they got to the party house.

"But Theresa seemed like she really wanted you there.."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, "I'm sure she does."

Marissa shot him an odd glance, raising her brow curiously at him, but continued on anyways, deciding to ignore whatever that meant. "Plus, I haven't met any of your friends yet. Or really anyone in this whole town, except for you.."

"Oh, I'm not enough for you?" Ryan playfully mused, a mock hurt look on his face.

"That's not what I meant," she quickly back-tracked, thinking he was serious, "You're way more than enough for me." Her face flushed pink as she realized what she had said. "I mean.. That your.. your.."

"Marissa?" he interrupted with a huge grin on his face at her.

She sighed, a small smile on her face just from seeing his. "What?"

"We're here."

She twisted her gaze away from him to land on the packed yard. Teens stood every where holding bright, red, plastic cups and laughing and screaming over the music that blared through two speakers wedged in the front windows and pointing out. Her feet came to a halt as a wave of nerves hit her. Back in Riverside, Marissa had been a major party girl and this kind of thing was her element; but she knew everyone there and had never shown up to a party without already being severely buzzed. Here in Chino though, she didn't know anyone and was stone cold sober.

"Come on," Ryan stated, motioning towards the party and placing his hand on the small of her back. He carefully led her through the crowd, pulling her closer as he saw a few of the guy's eyes stray to check her out, and took them into the house.

Within a few minutes, Marissa had been paraded around the house, getting the names and basic details of almost everyone in the house, but not much else. Apparently Ryan was kind of a loner, because even though every girl at the party seemed completely enthralled with him and all the guys obviously thought he was pretty cool, he didn't seem interested beyond the basics in any of them.

"So who do you usually hang out with?" she asked curiously as they both took a seat on the tattered couch in the middle of the living room. "Carlos? Alex?" she wondered, motioning at some of the boys she'd met.

Ryan shook his head. "Me, Trey, Aueturo, and Eddie hang out a lot. Trey calls us a gang, but we're not really.. but then again, maybe we are since he shot someone and now he and Aueturo are on the run now."

"Oh," Marissa muttered, her brow furrowing. "Where's Eddie then?"

"I don't know, probably somewhere making out with Theresa.." he commented absently as he snaked his arm around her and pulled her close as a couple of loud, drunken idiots stumbled onto the couch next to them. He _hated_ these parties. "Are you sure you want to be here?" Ryan muttered against her ear, "I mean, my mom is at her boyfriend's, so we could hang out there, just the two of us..."

Marissa giggled as he kissed her earlobe. "Ryan... We just got here.." she protested weakly even as she melted against him. His lips trailed from her ear, down her cheek, and to her neck where he gently sucked on her pulse point. Immediately she was gone, closing her eyes and gently clasping her fingers around a handful of his wifebeater.

"Hey! Get a room, Atwood!"

Ryan instantly snapped away from her, shooting the drunken asshole a death glare for totally ruining the moment. He couldnt help but immediately grin though as he turned back to see Marissa looking embarrassed at the floor, blushing bright red while the beginnings of a hickey was already visible on her exposed skin.

"You're beautiful," the blonde boy whispered so only she could hear as that fuzzy, warm feeling he'd been getting a lot lately suddenly filled him up again.

Her head snapped up and she seemed to blush even more, if that was even possible. "What?"

Ryan chuckled and absently shook his head. "You heard me," he pointed out knowingly, "I said you're beautiful."

The blonde's lips suddenly curled into a huge, warm smile as she instinctively leaned forward and kissed him, hard. No one had ever told her that, or even said anything so nice to her before in her life, and she suddenly felt special. Letting her hands run up to tangle in the back of his hair, she smiled into the kiss as her heart beat sped up. "You still want to get out of here?"

Ryan breathlessly nodded, his mind still reeling from the kiss. "I should tell you stuff like that more often.."

Marissa playfully stuck her tongue out at him, still smiling widely as the two of them stood up and began walking hand in hand towards the door.

"Ryan!"

Stopping in their tracks, the two blondes turned to see a wave of brunnette bounding towards them so fast neither was prepared as Theresa threw her arms out, quickly wrapping them around Ryan's neck and pushing Marissa out of the way in the process.

"I haven't seen you in forever," the brunette mumbled against his neck.

Ryan pulled at her hands and tried to free himself from her grasp as he gave her an uncomfortable look. "It's only been a couple weeks, Theresa.."

"A couple weeks?" she asked dramatically as she took a step back, "Ry, I'm used to seeing you everyday."

Marissa shifted uneasily. _Everyday?_

Ryan smiled fakely at the girl who used to mean so much to him, and looked over to the girl who now meant so much more. He slid his arm around Marissa reassuringly and flashed her a warm half smile. "While we were just leaving so.."

"Leaving?" Theresa muttered confused and disappointed. "I was hoping we would get a chance to talk tonight, maybe? Just the two of us."

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Me and Eddie broke up," she admitted, trying to convince him to stay, "and I thought you and I could finally have a chance to make it work for real this time."

"No, we can't."

"Why not?" she asked, surprised that he wasnt jumping at the opportunity. "You've wanted me to break up with him for forever.."

"Theresa," Ryan interrupted with a frustrated sigh, "I'm not doing this. We're friends; that's it."

"Friends?" Theresa repeated incredulously, her eyes widening and filling with rage. She watched in a split second as Ryan's fingers gently rubbed the bare skin of Marissa's shoulder just as she reached up and wrapped her arm around him and let her hand come to rest on his hip, the two of them obviously completely infatuated with each other. She was losing him to a complete stranger, and Theresa couldnt understand at all how he could do this to her. "I cant believe you'd throw away all we have for this slut!"

The blonde boy turned to look at his childhood friend in shock, his blue eyes boring into her. "Theresa!" Ryan growled, squeezing Marissa's shoulder's protectively to his side. "Don't talk about my girlfriend like that ever again," he hissed in a low, warning tone. "We're leaving," he announced as he let go of Marissa's shoulders and quickly grabbed her hand and began leading her out through the crowds and out the door.

&&&&&&&&

"I'm really sorry about Theresa," Ryan suddenly spoke up softly as they turned onto their street. "Its just me and her have always been close friends but stuff happened and.."

"Ry, you don't have to explain," she interrupted, smiling at him to make sure he knew it really was okay. They took a few steps and she let a few silent moments pass before Marissa finally let her warm smile take over her. "So, I'm your girlfriend now, huh?" she playfully asked out loud.

"Well, uh.. yes?" he fumbled, "If you want to be, I mean."

"Of course I want to be your girlfriend."

Ryan's lips curled into a huge grin. "Well, then, I guess you are."

Squeezing her hand tighter, they walked the two more blocks to his house. He wasn't sure what they were going to do when they got there, but he could feel his pulse quicken at the mere possibilities. He pushed open the squeaky chain link gate and let it fall closed behind them, only letting go of her hand when he need to fish in his pockets for his keys. Just as he produced them with a triumphant, "A-ha", Marissa was quickly distracted as the porch lights next door flashed on.

"Mom?" Stepping away from Ryan, she was surprised to see her mother step into the front lawn looking pale and scared.

"Marissa, honey, I was hoping that was you," Julie answered as she reached the fence, wringing her hands nervously.

The blonde teenager's brow immediately knotted at the uneven tone of her voice and just how shaken her mother looked the closer she got. "What's going on? Mom, what's wrong?"

Ryan followed her curiously, but stayed a few feet behind

"You need to come home, sweetie," Julie informed her daughter as calmly as she could. "Your father, he's just, he had a bad day and he's not himself tonight. He went to go for a walk to clear his head and I think it'd be best if you were home and in bed asleep when he gets back."

Marissa let her eyes wander to her mother's fidgeting hands and caught sight of the fresh looking bruises on her forearm, and immediately she knew she needed to head her mother's warning. She didn't want to piss him off more by coming home late while he's so infuriated, or by not coming home at all. And maybe he'd leave her alone if she was asleep in bed, but she wasn't so sure.

"Um, okay," she agreed with a nod, "I'll be home in a minute." Marissa watched as her mother walked back in their house and let out a heavy breath before turning back to Ryan. She was surprised to see how close he was, but decided to act like nothing was wrong and forced herself to be overly cheery. "Well, I have to go. Curfew, you know?"

"Marissa.." he sighed with concern, he heard everything and he saw the bruises just like she had. "Do you really think you should go home right now? You could stay at my house tonight and go home in the morning, maybe?"

"What are you talking about? Ryan, I think I'm fine in my own house," she completely lied.

"I don't know that you are," he pointed out wryly, "I saw your busted lip a couple weeks ago and your mom was just acting like..."

"You don't know what your talking about," Marissa argued back quickly, her heart starting to pound. She never talked about her dad hitting her, ever, not even with Summer or Seth. It was like she could pretend it didn't really happen if no one knew about it. She didn't want to have to talk about it, she wanted it to not be real.

"Yes, I do know what I'm talking about," Ryan assured her, "I know exactly what I'm talking about."

She sighed and absently shook her head to clear it. "Ryan, I'm fine. I'm just going next door to be with my mom." Leaning up, she placed a quick kiss on his cheek before turning to leave before he could protest. "I'll come see you tomorrow!"

Ryan watched her walk away, his stomach sinking. He couldn't stand the thought of her being hurt. There was no way he could let anything happen to her.


	7. The Talk

7

"Mrs. Cooper," Ryan awkwardly greeted the short, redheaded woman before him as he peered into the dingy Cooper house. "Is Marissa home?"

She softly shook her head as she stepped out onto the porch and let the door silently shut behind her. "I haven't seen her since she went to bed last night," Mrs. Cooper commented, trailing off to quietly joke, "I figured she was with you all day."

Ryan blushed and shook his head. "No, she was supposed to come over, but she never did." He chewed his lip for a second thoughtfully before asking, "Should I be worried?"

The weak woman let out a heavy sigh, her shoulders slumping with the weight of the world as she hugged herself tight. All she seemed to be able to do was nod, so slightly it was almost imperceptible, before letting her head hang in shame.

The young blonde didn't need to hear anything more as he turned on his heel with every intention of walking the whole city until her found her.

"Ryan," Ms. Cooper called, making him stop as he before he passed through the metal, chain link gate. Turning on his heel, he watched as the older woman stepped further onto the porch, the dwindling sunlight hitting her at new angles, making the bruises on her neck visible to him for the first time and causing his stomach to sink to the ground. "If you find her, could you let her stay at your house tonight?"

He nodded, knowing for sure that he should have never let her come home last night and now completely sure that he couldn't ever let her go home again. He quickly turned and left, digging his hands into the pockets of his worn leather jacket, his mind twisting with what kind of bruises he'd find on Marissa, and how much he wanted to meet and kill the man who had done it to her.

&&&&&&&&

She dug her toes into the dirt and woodchips that covered the playground as she gripped tight to the metal chains that held up the swing, her eyes focused on the bright stars that hung in the sky above her. Trailing her gaze from dot to dot, she tried to connect them, making pictures and stories up in her head for them, trying to focus on something other than herself and her problems and her life. She tried to think of how big the universe was, with all those stars and planets and galaxies millions of miles away, and convince herself that she, with all her problems and issues, was so small and insignificant compared to it, trying to make herself get over it all. But she couldn't. All she kept thinking was that she had to go home soon and see her parents and just the thought made her stomach turn with fear, her eyes burn with unshed tears, and the bump on the back of her head pulsate with pain.

She saw the shadowy figure from the corner of her eye as it was approaching and immediately knew it was Ryan. Part of her wanted to jump up and hug him and let herself get lost in him, the other part of her wished he would leave her alone so she could be by herself. She did neither, remaining neutral as he sidled up to her and leaned against the swing set, watching her closely.

"Hey," he greeted hesitantly, fidgeting and digging his hands into the pockets of his worn leather jacket.

She forced a small, sad smile at the blonde boy beside her. "Hi."

"I've been looking for you for a couple hours," Ryan pointed out gently, trying to find something to say to the beautiful girl in front of him. He shifted awkwardly in the silence and let his eyes scan the park around them, a small grin curling his lips. "I should have figured you'd come to where we had our first kiss."

Her cheeks immediately burned red as a helpless smile curled her lips. "That's not why I came here."

"Suuuure," he laughed out, watching as Marissa smiled and absently shook her head, her hands rubbing up and down her bare arms. Without a second thought, he slid off his jacket and stepped over to drape it across her shoulders.

"Thanks," she whispered, pulling the material tight to her skin and looking down at her toes.

He nodded and leaned back against the metal swing set, his arms crossed in front of him. "So you want to talk about it?"

Her eyes shot up and narrowed at him before she quickly averted her gaze right back to the ground. "Talk about what?" she questioned as cluelessly as she could fake.

"Marissa.." he sighed out, frustration filling his quiet plea. "I went to your house today, and I saw your mom's neck. And I saw your busted lip a couple weeks ago, and the old bruises on your arm and how your always so nervous and.."

Suddenly her gaze snapped up to meet his, her eyes burning with fear hiding behind anger. "I don't know what your trying to say, Ryan, but you can stop right now," she snapped, her voice full of warning. She could feel her heart pound in her chest as he seemed to sink back into himself, his lips tightening into a thin line as he studied her. It all seemed like too much under his questioning gaze, and the last thing she wanted to do at that second was talk and have to face anything, so after a few seconds of silence and a deep breath, she quickly pushed herself up off the metal swing. "I think I'm going to go home.."

Without a second thought Ryan immediately reached for her hand, grabbing it and holding her in place before she even took her first step away. "You can't. You know you can't," he explained quietly but forcefully before pressing on. "My dad used to have a really bad temper too, and he'd always kick my ass over the littlest stuff and.."

Marissa felt her palms start to sweat and her stomach twist in knots as he talked, getting worse with each word he said. Suddenly she panicked, whipping her hand out of his grip fast as she could and pushing him away from her hard. "Shut up!"

Ryan's eyes widened as he stared dumbfounded at the beautiful girl in front of him. "What.."

"Stop trying to talk about this! I don't want to talk about it- any of it!" And all of the sudden she was crying, her words coming out in painful sobs. "I don't want to talk about my dad or my mom or how they fight or how my dad fights us or how much it hurts or how much I hate it!"

His face softened as he took a step towards her and reached for her, but she quickly batted his hand away and took a huge step back.

"Do you just want me to admit that he hits me? Is that it? Then fine, he hits me," she chokes out, her cheeks red and damp from tears and anger as years of frustration boiled over. "He's drunk all the fucking time and is always hitting and punching and attacking my mom and me for no damn reason other than it makes him feel better, but it hurts so bad and every time I walk into my house I'm scared out of my mind of what's going to happen! Is that what you me to say?"

Ryan softly shakes his head, his brow knotted with worry and his lips curled into a helpless frown. "That's not what I want you to say, I don't want to hear that you're getting hurt at all," he tells her quietly but firmly. "I brought it up brought it up because I want to help make it better, not upset you."

She sighs, all the fight leaving her and the volume in her voice reducing to almost a whisper as she continues on shakily, "If you want to make it better then please leave it alone. Just pretend it doesn't happen." She shrugs absently and bows her head to stare at the ground through her tears. "That's all I want to do."

Something inside him physically hurt for her in that moment, and he silently padded across the few feet of woodchips to pull her into his arms. Hesitantly, he kissed her temple, then her hair, then her earlobe as he wrapped his arms tight around her waist. It took her a second to respond, but after a moment her head is dug into his shoulder and she's crying against his neck, her whole body trembling against him as he hugged her back, and he ached at the thought of how much she's been through.

With his arms around her, his breath against her neck, and the way he almost imperceptibly swayed them as she cried, Marissa knew she'd never felt so safe and cared for in her life then she did in that moment. She felt for a second that Ryan could fix everything, that he really could make it all better, but her mind knew better. They were both just teenagers, barely old enough to drive but way too poor to afford a car and they were stuck in this life in Chino with their families, and no matter how much she wanted it and wished it, Ryan couldn't change that. All they could do was be together, and try to make it more bearable.

She sighed and sniffled and pulled back to look at him, her fingers playing with his hair on the back of his neck. "You know when I'm with you, I don't think about any of that stuff at all," she admitted and they both smiled just the slightest, "and I don't want to start to. I just want to be with you and have fun and be happy."

"I want that too," he smiled sadly, before absently shaking his head, "but, Marissa, when I'm not with you, all I can think about is if your okay or not." Wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs, he watched her bluegreen eyes continue to spill tears and her pink lips quiver and a warm feeling spread throughout his entire body. "I can't stand the thought of anyone hurting you," he admitted strongly, "and I can't just stand back and not say anything."

She bit her lip, shrugging helplessly at him, wishing she could change things so he didn't have to worry. "I don't know what to do," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"Stay with me tonight."

"What?" Marissa quickly returned, surprised. "Are you.. I mean.."

"Please," he quietly begged.

She smiled softly. "Okay."

&&&&&&&&

Marissa curled her arms around herself as she padded her bare feet against the cold, dingy, hardwood floor as she walked down the hall from the bathroom to Ryan's bedroom. His sweatpants and sweatshirt hung very loosely on her thin frame, but they felt good and smelled like him and she snuggled into them as she walked into the room.

"I think they might be a little too big," Ryan pointed out from his spot on the bed, smiling at the sight of her.

She giggled. "Yeah, maybe just a little," she agreed as she climbed in next to him. Immediately, curling into his side and hugging him tight. "Thank you," she murmured affectionately against his chest.

"You don't need to thank me," he pointed out gently as he met her eyeline, "I think I'd be going nuts about now if you weren't here."

Leaning up she kissed him sweetly, before pulling away, her brow suddenly knitted in thought. "What happens tomorrow? Or the day after that?"

He sighed and shrugged softly as he began running his fingers through her long blonde hair. "I don't know," he responded gently, "but we'll deal with it. I'm going to make sure you're safe, okay?"

She bit her lip and nodded, meeting his intense gaze that made her feel how true every word he said was. No one had ever looked at her the way he did; like she was the only girl in the world. It made her feel important, and she wasn't sure she'd ever felt that way before. A slow grin curled her lips and she quickly leaned in and kissed him deep and long. Running her lips from his mouth to his ear, she felt her heart pound and her body rush with warmth as she whispered in his ear so quietly she wasn't sure he could even hear her, "I love you."

Ryan felt his pulse suddenly quicken and his eyes widen, not sure if his ears were deceiving him. Tilting his head to the side, he met her shy blue eyes and her pink flushed cheeks and knew that she loved him, and that he felt the same way. He slowly brought his lips up to brush against her ear before whispering in just the same way, "I love you too."

Her whole face was suddenly overtaken by the biggest grin ever as she leaned in and kissed him hard. Their tongues melding together and their bodies pressing close for what seemed like forever, until their clothes slowly started to melt away into a pile next to Ryan's old legos on the floor.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he breathed huskily against her neck.

"I've never.." she started quietly, nervously chewing on her bottom lip, "I mean.. this, I've never done this," she admitted quietly as she motioned between them, both of them in their underwear.

"Oh," Ryan suddenly muttered, not having even thought of her being a virgin before, since he definitely wasn't one himself. Something inside him was glad though to know that she had never been with anyone before. He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss her shoulder. "Well we don't have to do anything," he assured her sweetly. "We can wait."

"I don't want to wait," she quietly admitted, "I want to be with you." She leaned up and kissed him. "I love you so much."

He grinned and kissed her deeply back. "I love you too." He studied her carefully, running his hand up and down her side. "Don't you want like flowers and candles and music and all that stuff?"

She shook her head and smiled. "I just want you."

He immediately leaned in and kissed her again, his body filling with warmth and happiness. He loved this girl, whom he'd known less than two months, more than he'd ever loved anyone in his life, and he knew he would do anything for her, especially when she was giving him all of her, giving him her virginity, something he'd never gotten from someone before and never meant more to him before. He made sure it was perfect for her, making love to her gently but passionately in his bed, making sure to make her feel as special as she made him feel.

And in their young, broken lives, the two of them got as close to perfect as they could get.


	8. The Final Straw

_I make no promises... :)_

* * *

8

Running down the short hallway, she gasped for breath as tears of fear streamed down her delicate cheeks and heavy foot steps pounded after her. Quickly, she darted into her small, cramped bedroom, slamming the door behind her and locking it with shaking hands.

"Marissa!"

She flinched at the enraged growl of her name, her pulse quickening as the knob began to violently shake and twist.

"Marissa open this fucking door right now!"

The sudden bang on the door made her jump, her breath catching in her throat as the thin panel shook on its hinging beneath his angry fists. Her started banging on the door harder and harder, over and over, making her whimper and cry with each hit. Her whole body trembled as she heard the frame start to crack, panic filling her. Darting across the room, she quickly pushed with all her might at the edge of her small twin bed until it slid in front of the small entrance, effectively blocking her from the enraged man on the other side of the door.

"You little bitch!"

Her bottom lip quivered uncontrollably as she backed away, never once tearing her eyes from the still shaking door as the constant banging seemed to slow.

"You fucking slut! You're just like your mother! You're worthless! You're fucking worthless!"

She winched in pain as her back hit the wall before she slowly slid down until she hit the floor, instantly pulling her knees to her chest. Silent tears streaked her pale face as waited with baited breath until the banging came to a halt. Biting her lip hard, she listened to his footsteps retreating down the hallway and off into silence somewhere else in their small house, finally letting herself release a small strangled whimper.

She could still feel his bruising fingers tight around her throat, she could still hear the smack of her head against the wall, she could still feel the crack of his boot against her side; she could still feel it all. She could still feel all the hurt she'd endured over the past years as well, and she knew she always would feel it. It would always be with her. And as she furiously wiped at her tears and tried to regain control of her ragged breath, she realized it would never stop, either. As long as she was here, all of the pain and hurt would never stop.

Peering over her shoulder, Marissa watched the golden, late afternoon sunlight streaming through her window, beautiful and warm and mocking her. She knew it would still be a few hours until Ryan returned home from work at the construction site. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying to stay strong at the thought of him. Ryan would make it better.

She quietly got up on her hands and knees and crawled across the room, pain stabbing at her side and flowing through her body, immediately pulling out her small, tin flask, needing some kind of immediate relief. Carefully she unscrewed the cap, when the soft noise of the front door opening made her motions come to a sudden halt.

Holding her breath, she listened to her mother's light, innocent footsteps cross the house walking unknowingly straight towards her raging father. She could hear their mumbling voices before a huge crash vibrated through the house, making Marissa jumped to her feet in fear, effectively spilling the clear liquid on her dirty bedroom floor.

She couldn't take this anymore.

&

Ryan took a long, deep drag from his cigarette before smashing it under the worn sole of his black boot as he turned down the dark street towards his house.

He hadn't planned on working today. Originally he was supposed to spend the day with Marissa; going to the park, to the strip mall, and then maybe to the movies. Instead he'd woken up to a phone call offering him some quick cash to fill in for an understaffed construction site across town. It was no where near as fun as a day with Marissa, but as he walked down the street towards Marissa's with an aching body and a pocket full of cash, it seemed worth it. He needed more money if he ever planned on getting out of this hell hole, and she understood, because she wanted to get the hell out of here just as bad. Plus, since his mom had been pretty much missing in action for the past few days, Marissa would probably end up staying the night again, like she had quite a few nights the last few weeks.

Digging his hands into his pockets, he quietly walked through the chain link gate surrounding the Cooper house. An eerie silence surrounded the dimly lit house, and Ryan couldn't help but feel the worry in his chest as he stepped up the door and knocked. No one answered, and after a moment of harsh silence he shifted his weight nervously and knocked once more. Again, no answer.

He could feel his panic start to rise as he stepped back from the door and quickly made his way around the house to check Marissa's window, which happened to be wide open, practically screaming at him that something was wrong.

"Marissa?" he called hopefully as he stepped up to the dark window, but his hope quickly disappeared as his eyes scanned the disheveled room. The bed was haphazardly blocking the door and clothes and stuffed animals and all of the rest Marissa's things were scattered across the floor and he knew that something horrible had happened.

Immediately he rushed back to the front door, his heart thumping fiercely in his chest as he banged his fist against the door as hard as he could. "Marissa?" he called out loudly, wishing with all his might she would come to the door, but she didn't. Grabbing at the handle, he was surprised when it swung open with ease, and he quickly searched the house, ignoring the broken glass and over turned furniture as he checked every room for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

Turning on his heal he rushed from the house, his palms sweating and his stomach dropping with worry. Ryan jumped the fence between his home and the Cooper's, and in an instant he had scooped up his bike and was off, determined to find Marissa and make sure she was safe.

&

The cool night air stung as it hit her pink cheeks, tears still leaking from her ocean blue eyes. Marissa sniffled as she pulled on the hood of the oversized grey sweatshirt of Ryan's she was wearing before pulling her hands in as well, almost trying to hide herself within the fabric. She wanted to hide herself from the world and never have to face it again.

"Marissa?"

She quickly met his gaze from beneath her hooded brow and broke down all over again at the sight of him. She knew only he would be able to find her here, which was exactly why she was there, in the park, sitting hidden in the playground equipment at the top of the big slide.

"Ryan," she sobbed out, and before she knew what had happened, he was next to her. Holding her, and melting away her pain with every stroke of his fingers across her back and tightening of his arm around her waist.

He felt his heart breaking as she sobbed into his neck. "Shh.." he breathed against her ear. "It's going to be okay," he tried to blindly reassure her, trying desperately to make her stop hurting. All he got in response was more tears. He pulled her closer to him before pushing back her hood and pushing his lips into her hair in a comforting kiss.

"What happened?" he asked quietly after her sobs had subsided into quiet cries. He rubbed her shoulder supportively as she pulled back to meet his gaze, and immediately he could see the marks of her fathers anger in the form of dark bruises on her neck and a deep gash on her forehead. "Marissa.."

"I-I know, it's horrible, isn't it?" she quietly cried as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I avoided going home all day because I knew he was home, but I was hoping since it was still the afternoon that maybe he hadn't started drinking, but he had."

She buried her head into her hands, trying to hide, but Ryan wouldn't let her. He reached out and entwined both his hands with hers and forced her eyes to rush back up his.

"And he knew that I had been gone the night before at your house," she admitted, her voice thick with tears, "and my mom must have let it slip that I'd been over there a lot lately, because he just went off on me, saying I was becoming a slut and that I was worthless and.."

"He's wrong," Ryan interrupted strongly. "You know that right? You are worth so much more than all this." She didn't respond, but allowed him to pull her back into him and within a second she was clinging to him for dear life. "You can't go back there," he whispered into her hair, "I won't let you."

"I know," she whispered back pulling away and meeting his gaze. "I'm not going to," she admitted motioning to the pink backpack at her side.

He let out a breath of relief, smiling sadly. "Good, you can stay with me."

Marissa shook her head softly. "You know that's the first place he'd look for me."

"Well what are you going to do then?" he asked, carefully brushing his fingers against the mark on her forehead.

She sniffled, shrugging her shoulders. "I have enough money for bus fare to get back to Fresno to stay with Summer or my Grandma," she explained quietly through her tears, her voice breaking as she entwined her fingers with his, "but I don't want to leave you." She leaned back into his grasp breathing in his comforting scent and nuzzling his neck. "I love you so much."

He held her close, a sudden strength filling him as he studied the beautiful girl that had become such a huge part of his life in such a short amount of time. He spent almost all of his time with her, and when he wasn't spending time with her, he was thinking about her. He wanted nothing more than to erase all her pain and make everything better for her, because he loved her. He loved her more than himself. He realized in that moment that if she was happy and safe, then he would be too.

"I'll come with you."

Plus, he didn't have anything left to lose but her and there was no way he was going to let that happen.


End file.
